I have a 1 Month Old!

I can't believe my son is already a month old!
He is still pretty squishy and not very mobile yet, but he already holds his head up like a champ. Now just have to work on keeping it up and better control with it.
He loves his tummy time. Although sometimes it pisses him off. Then there are days he likes his vibrating bouncy chair and days he hates it. 
I do not really have much else to update on him about at this time. I wont have another update until his 8 week appointment.
I am also leaving out of town tomorrow. Trying to get my postpartum under control. When I come home Sunday if I do not feel like I have made any progress then I am making a doctor appointment.

It would totally rock my world if you gave this a click!

Baby Smiles and Peace Signs

I love when Kaileb smiles. I know its probably gas. At least it is for the next few weeks. I can't wait to see a genuine smile on my kids face.

Also I think my kid is on his way to being a hippie. You see that peace sign he's throwing in the air?

Ps. Willie thinks Kaileb is pretty awesome. Seriously every time this kid cries my cat is right there making sure he is okay.

One Month & an Update on Life

Wow it seems like it has been forever since I have actually gotten to sit down and play on my computer. I am so happy life is finally starting to get into a routine now.
Before I get into the update to much I wanted to say my little chunkamonk is now a month old! where has the time gone!

Kaileb had his 3 week check up on the 16th of this month. My little chunkamonk now weighs 9lbs 10 1/2oz and is 22 inches long! he is also staying awake for longer periods during the day. He continues to amaze me. I can not believe that something so precious came out of me.

I on the other hand have been trying to deal with a lot. A good friend of mine lost her baby at 26 weeks gestation. Since finding out I have been trying to be there for her as much as possible. I will admit it has been hard. Especially since I myself have been trying to deal with what I think is postpartum.

Since Matt has returned to work, I have spent a lot of time alone. Just me and Kaileb. I even spent the majority of my first Mother's Day by myself. Until Charm (my next door neighbor) asked me to come over and celebrate with them by having dinner. It was just what I needed that day too. Up until then all I felt like doing was crying.

I have also had a few friends who do not seem to get that my emotions are all over the place right now and have only made me feel worse. I am seriously contemplating a trip down to my Dad's to see if a change of scenery will help get me out of this funk.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with postpartum? I really do not want to end up going to my doctor just yet. I have dealt with depression before and can usually snap out of it. I want to give it a good try before having to use a pill to get my emotions under control. 

That's all for now. I will be trying to get this blog back up and running like it was before my little turtle man came and took up all my time (not that I mind at all, and I am sure you all understand).
It would totally rock my world if you gave this a click!

Wordless Wednesday: Sleeping Kaileb

Happy Mother's Day

This little chunk-a-monk made me a mother 21 days ago. He also slept mostly through the night for the first time last night. 

2 Weeks

I'm a little late posting this but my lil guy turned two weeks old today at 8:16am.

Oh my gosh make time stop! It feels like its only been a few days not weeks!

Thoughts on Motherhood

I have known for quite a while that I wanted to have a family; a husband, kids, the whole shebang. Four years ago when I told Matt that I was ready to start trying for a family whenever he was would start that journey.

I’m not saying that just Matt and I together wasn’t enough because it was. It just felt like there was something missing. Something we both needed to have when the time was right. Two years ago we would start that journey. It took us one year and a miscarriage later before we would conceive our little turtle man.

Granted the miscarriage lead to some paranoid moments during my pregnancy with Kaileb but in the end I would finally have my little boy. Our family finally feels complete. I may only have been his mom for 11 days so far, but I already am finding out that what I had pictured in my head is not what is really happening.

For instance I thought I would have this wonderful homebirth. Instead I had to adapt and make my hospital birth a journey to remember because little turtle man had other opinions on when he would come into this world. Not that I don’t mind. I can’t imagine still being pregnant and carrying him until the 17^th of May.

I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to do during this pregnancy and even though that makes me a little sad. Although I am just over the moon to have my little guy here with me now and so is his daddy.

Motherhood is going to be one of the greatest journey’s I will ever take. I already cannot remember what I did with myself before becoming his mommy. Being a mom is one of the greatest gifts that I could have ever received. Not to mention how it brings so many people together too. Babies are wonderful for that.  

It would totally rock my world if you gave this a click!

The First Week

If you follow me on Instagram then you have probably seen all of these photos and more.
This is pretty much what our first week with Kaileb has been like. 

This first week home has been such a blur.

 Between the lack of sleep, constantly up and down, marathon breast feedings to switching over to bottle feeding.

I would not change it for the world.

It would totally rock my world if you gave this a click!

Morning Snuggles

This is the way we start most days.

3 AM Adventures

This first time mommy is very tired. 
After a 3 day marathon 30min-1hr breast feeding little man, I broke.
I cried.
I felt like a failure.
Why?
Well, we finally figured out that the nipple shield was blocking him from feeding adequately. I have flat nipples and was using that and the pump to help draw them out.
Before that I was using nipple shells for a month to do the same thing.
We now exclusively pump and bottle feed our little guy.
He is now a very happy full and content baby.
I just need to come to terms that I can not breast feed but at least he is still getting my milk.
That is all that matters right?
He is getting my milk and is a fully happy baby.
It would totally rock my world if you gave this a click!