Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Good Bye Black Hole

For the longest time I have felt like there is a black hole in my heart. Something that has yet to be filled up, even after I met my husband it was still there. Still weighing on me, still reminding me it was there. That was until I saw my little man for the first time. This black hole of mine started to fill up right then and there. It filled up even more with Matt came in and took my hand and at 7 weeks old our baby did a summer-salt as soon as our hands connected. Even the ultra sound tech was surprised that my 7 week old baby did this. It continued to fill up even more after we got to hear his heart beat for the first time.

I believe now without a doubt that when Kaileb arrives in this world and I get to hold my baby boy in my arms for the first time that this black hole will no longer exist. I will finally be complete. That whatever it was that was telling me something was missing in my life is now finally telling me my life is now almost perfect.  Don’t get me wrong, my life is far from perfect, but it is the feeling I get the more this black hole fills up inside me. That no matter what the world may bring, as long as I have my husband and son beside me I will be just fine.

To be honest I am really glad to be getting rid of this black hole of mine. It has plagued me for far too long now. Since childhoodhonestly, so good bye black hole, I really hope I never see you again!

No comments: