Monday, October 24, 2011

I've been having a really hard time sleeping lately. I get enough sleep, I guess. When I sleep I sleep [other than getting up 20x's a night to pee]. I wish I knew what was going on. Seems like at night when my mind is racing, I feel depressed. Like something is eating away at me and I don’t quite know what it is. I keep having these weird dreams and it leaves me wondering if this might be the cause of the sleepless nights.

I dream about miscarrying again. Only this time there is a lot more blood, I’m talking hemorrhage style here and I lose the baby again. Every time I wake up in a cold sweat and have to check myself in order to be sure everything is fine. A few of the other mom’s I know have told me that those nightmares are normal, especially since right before I got pregnant this time I had suffered a miscarriage. I am thinking about scheduling another ultra sound to put my mind at ease.

I don’t know…do you think this could be linked to my not being able to sleep? Or am I just being paranoid?  I am 10 weeks now, I should be able to hear the heart beat by now, and I would love to be able to hear that. It may be the one thing that reassures me the most, even if I do think I am freaking out over nothing.

I know that I hope these dreams and this depression lightens up soon. Thanks for listening [reading] and bearing with me on my little rant.

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